The King Of Kong (2007) 9/10!

Now, I don't usually review documentaries here on the Uncouth blog but this time I just can't help it. The King of Kong is one of the best film I've seen this year, hell it might just be THE best film i've seen this year.

The King of Kong is about old school gaming. There is a group of people out there that are obsessed with old school arcade games and getting the highest score on em. Enter Billy. He's the champ. The man. The guy all the other guys look up to. He's got the highest score on Donkey Kong and has kept it since 1982. Its so high in fact, no one has even come close. Until now. Enter the challenger Steve. He quick and he's good. And he's going to beat Billy's score.

The King of Kong is an excellent David vs. Goliath story. Billy Mitchell is the man. He's the hot sauce king in his neck of the woods, he's successful, and he's got a wife with fake boobs. He's cocky and he's got everything all they other old-school gamers wished they had. He is a god on earth. Steve Wiebe is a man who has never been great at anything. His band never went anywhere, he blew the championships for his baseball team in college, and he got laid off from Boeing the same day he bought a house for his family. Every time this guy tries to succeed he gets screwed somehow. This time, with Donkey Kong, this are gonna be different right? Wrong. Every time he tries to beat the score something happens, and when he finally does beat the score, Billy Mitchell happens. The film does a great job of drawing out the characters of these two men. You can't help but root for the underdog Steve, and hate Billy Mitchell. The great thing is that at the beginning of the film we see Billy Mitchell through the eyes of his peers, as a god. But as the film progresses we start to see faults in his character and inconsistencies between what he says and what he does. The film doesn't demonize him, it just gives him enough rope to hang himself. This film is the real Rocky. I didn't want it to end. I was excited, scared, sad, and jubilant. I felt the same way that Steve felt along his journey and that's saying alot. What an amazing piece of cinema.

Everyone should see this film. Even if you hate video games and documentaries and guys named Steve. Its that good. I promise. Give me more!!

Overall - 9/10

Beyond The Door (1974) 4/10

Beyond The Door is supposed to be the best of the 70's Exorcist rip-offs. If that's true then they might as well bury the rest.

Beyond the door is about a pregnant woman who is having the child of the devil and becomes possessed.

This one's gonna be short because the film is crap. The acting is terrible and flat, as is the direction. It looks like anyone could have directed this film, in fact if ANYBODY else had done it, it probably would have had at least an ounce of style. Watching the film is like watching paint dry but not as fun. Flat lighting, bland colors, and boring shots. Snooze. The dialogue is equally bad and uninspired. Oh, did i mention unbelievable and uninteresting? Yeah, the film has both of those in spades.

Avoid at all costs.

Overall- 4/10

Transsiberian (2008) 7/10

I love Brad Anderson's films. Session 9 is one of my all-time favorite films. The Machinist was great, and his entry in the Masters of Horror was easily one of the best. Needless to say I had high expectations for his newest film, Transsiberian.

Transsiberian is about an American couple taking the transsiberian railway that get mixed up with drug smuggling, murder, and Russian police.

Transsiberian is a subtle, tense, thriller that tries to put the audience in the shoes of some very naive and troubled people. The photography is stunning and the performances by Ben Kingsley and Woody Harrelson are amazing. Looks like Woody is finally back to playing a role that isn't an absolute scumbag, instead a sensitive nice guy. The pacing in the film is pretty slow going. Nothing really happens for the first 45 minutes or so. We spend that time getting to know the characters and what motivates them. The problem is that although I had the attention span for it, I feel that it wasn't necessary to for it to have been so long. When things start happening though the tension is so thick, i felt like i couldn't breathe. The problem is that the film doesn't go for the throat. I know that sounds bad but the film ends too nicely. Sure there's some really grisly interrogation scenes that will keep me out of Russia, but the climax doesn't top it. The film's intensity peaks before its final climax and it left me feeling a bit let down. Everything gets wrapped up neatly at the end of the film and I felt that it was just too clean and neat. A film like this should have ragged edges.

So, Transsiberian is a good entry into Brad Anderson's catalogue but not a great entry as I had hoped.

Gore-mild

Nudity-none

Overall - 7/10

Stuck (2008) 7/10

Stuart Gordon is an interesting director. He became popular in the horror genre after directing Re-Animator and From Beyond and recently he's made some really horrorific films, like the excellent Edmond and the disturbing King of the Ants, but not really horror films. Stuck is another one of these and is certainly the most horrrific film he's done in years.

Stuck is about an old folks home nurse that gets drunk and accidentally hits a man crossing the street. The man flies into the windshield headfirst becoming Stuck. The nurse freaks out and parks her car in her garage, leaving the man in the windshield alive. We spend the rest of the film watching the man suffer in the windshield trying to get out while the nurse tries to figure out what to do with him. And the most f-d up thing about it? Its based on a TRUE story.

To say the film is unpleasant is an understatement. Seeing a poor guy stuck in broken glass for 90 minutes is pretty damn grisly. It would be easy to make the nurse into a monster, which she is, but the script decides to show her as a normal, if screwed up, person. We don't feel sympathy for her but at the same time we can understand why she decides to leave a dying man stuck in her garage. The film rides that fine line between believeable and unbelievable and for the most part stays on the believable side. The acting here is great and the pacing is quick as well.

Gordon has created a film that is watchable yet grisly, interesting but appalling. Its hard to watch but hard not to finish. Unlike most of the grisly horror flicks that have come out in the past few years that the viewer can shut off and forget about, Stuck sticks with you. Remember kids, always cross in a cross walk, otherwise some drunk person is gonna hit you and you'll die a slow painful death.

Gore-mild/medium

Nudity-mild

Overall - 7/10

20 Years After (2007) 7/10

I'm always on the look out for interesting indie flicks that pass below most people's radar. Usually theres a damn good reason why no one's seen it, but 20 years later deserves a bit more attention.

Set in the near future, 20 years after the destruction of human civilization, a young girl is the first woman to become pregnant since the fall of man. Now its up to a band of ragtag survivors to get her safely beyond the blight, searching for an unknown man who's been broadcasting a radio show. Along the way they're hunted by an evil group of survivors that want the child for their own nefarious deeds.

So the synopsis of the film sounds alot like another post apocalyptic sci-fi film i won't mention here, but the film is actually quite different. Sure it's about a pregnant girl in a post apocalyptic world but here there is no evil government. Civilization is already gone. Think the road warrior. On a tiny budget the film is able to create a believable world gone wrong with unique characters, some beautiful photography and well seasoned actors. The plot moves along at a quick pace and is believable.

20 years after is a pretty good post-apocalyptic film about camaraderie, death, and birth. I don't know why in this day and age there aren't more post-apocalyptic films coming out. I can almost hear the Four Horsemen as they approach...

Gore-none

Nudity-none

Overall - 7/10

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008) 7/10

I love 80's horror flicks, especially late 80's. The films from that period were just so damn fun. Great creatures all created without cgi, heaps of gore and an optimistic vibe. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer attempts to recapture this time and does a great job doing it with out being redundant.

Jack Brooks is a man with anger problems. Hes a really good guy but lets his temper get the best of him. It all started when he was a kid and saw his family eaten by a monster. Instead of telling people about it, he bottles up the painful memory causing him to explode an inappropriate times. When his teacher (played brilliantly by Robert Englund) finds an ancient evil black heart and subsequently turns into a monster, its up to Jack to use his anger to save the day.

Its very hard write a character that's deeply flawed but still lovable but this film does it very well. I really felt for Jack and was always on his side. His anger issues are delt with in a humorous fashion, mostly he just yells alot, no wife beating or dog kicking here. So yeah, he gets pissed, but he's pretty harmless. Robert Englund does a great job as the wacky science teacher and honestly turns in his best performance in years. The monsters are all very unique and all done with practical effects, no cgi here! The gore is pretty good and the pacing is fast and fun. The film is a pleasure to watch. The only problem is there aren't quite enough monsters and it takes much too long for the science teacher monster to make an appearance. This makes the film feel uneven and drops it from what would have been an 8 or a 9 to a 7 out of 10.

Fun and fast paced Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is a great indie horror flick that demands a sequel, hell, I'd watch a slew of em if they were all done at this high level of quality. Check it out if you miss the fun 80's horror flicks as much as I do.

Gore - medium

Nudity- none

Overall - 7/10

Cannibal (2006) 7/10

Any reader of this blog knows that I like extreme films. Often I go out of my way to find the sickest most extreme films I can get my grubby little hands on. Cannibal is one of these films and its a doozy.

Cannibal is about a man obsessed with the idea of eating another man alive. He scours the internet until he finally finds someone that wants to be eaten. The eater invites the eaten to a weekend of hardcore sex, alcohol, and of course castration and cannibalism. The sickest part of this whole thing? Its based on a true story.

Given the subject matter, and the obviously niche audience that would want to subject themselves to it, the film has a small budget. But, that small budget is used very wisely. Sure its shot on 24p hd video, but the compositions are beautiful. As the film progresses the overall visual strength of the film grows, so by the end of the film its at its height of quality. This is a unique method of drawing the audience in as the film gets more and more perverse it gets easier and easier to watch. The acting is in German with subtitles but from what i can tell, the guys did a great job and had a heap of courage to pull off such a graphic and offensive film. To say the film has some nudity in is to say willy wonka makes some candy. About halfway through the film its as if the actors lost their pants. Once again, it takes a lot of courage to be naked so much in a film, especially for a man. The gore is very realistic and rather nauseating. The image of one man trying to bite off another's genitalia and failing because its too tough, is something i doubt I'll forget anytime soon. In fact, there's several images in this film that will be burned on my brain for quite some time.

Needless to say this film is not for everyone. For most straight males just seeing gay sex is enough to make us feel uncomfortable, let alone where one is trying to eat the other in a sexually demented way. Castration is another topic we'd rather not think about, especially when it involves watching another man fry up our severed manhood and eat it before our eyes. I honestly can't believe I could sit through the whole thing, and thinking about it reminds me of the first time i watched Cannibal Holocaust and Faces of Death. Shameful, that's how i feel. Check it out if you hate yourself.

Gore-high

Nudity-high

Overall - 7/10

Exorcist III (1990) 7/10

We all know that The Exorcist is one of the greatest horror films ever made. We also know that the Exorcist II is one of the worst. I've tried watching that one on several occasions and can never finish it. Understandably i've stayed away from all other films in the series because of it. About a year ago i read William Peter Blatty's Legion which is what the film is based on. The film is also directed by Blatty and the screenplay was written by him too. Since the book was good and since Blatty had so much control i decided to give it a shot.

The Exorcist III takes place about 15 years after the original film and bodies are starting to turn up that mimic the killing pattern of the executed gemini killer. Enter detective Kinderman from The Exorcist, this time played by George C. Scott, to solve the case. His sleuthing leads him to a hospital where a mental patient that looks exactly like the murdered priest from the original film starts to tell him details about the killings that no one knows.

The film is beautifully photographed with an elegance rarely seen in horror films. The pacing is slow but the scares are great and the third act is amazing. Well acted, written, and directed, I'm surprised this film is more often spoken about in horror circles. It even features Chucky himself, Brad Dourif. I will say however, it is nothing like the Exorcist. More then anything the film just features the same characters dealing with another supernatural occurance. The film isn't the second coming of the Exorcist and originally it was going to be called Legion, not The Exorcist III.

So, if you like well acted, well directed, atmospheric horror films and have a bit of patience, check it out, just don't expect anything like The Exorcist, because you won't get it here.

Gore-none

Nudity-none

Overall - 7/10

The Entity (1981) 6/10

During the post Exorcist ghost craze of the late 70's and early 80's there was a slew of unremarkable possession/haunting films that every studio was throwing at the horror audience. The Entity is a unique film in its subject matter that will always keep it from being lost in the shuffle. What could this unique story be? Well, we are talking about the early 80's height of nihilism and brutality so of course its about ghost rape. Yup. You read right.

The Entity is based on a true story about a single mother that moves into a new home with her 3 children only to be repeatedly beaten and violated by a group of ghosts inhabiting her home. She calls upon the help of a psychiatrist that thinks she's crazy and a group of paranormal investigators. Their solution? Make a model of the house and hook up some liquid nitrogen hoses so when the ghost appears they can freeze it?!

Stylistically the film mirrors any other typical low budget horror flick made at the time but they went so far as to create fake breasts and the illusion of hands unseen fondling them! Yeah the director decided to leave nothing to imagination. The rapes are graphic and highly disturbing. The realism is pretty damn grisly. The film runs at a slow pace but given the subject matter the slow burn works well. The attacks increase in frequency and ferocity as the film progresses and the films pace needs to be on the slow side to give it time to build the tension. The acting is pretty good here but as i mentioned before stylistically the film is bland. There is no conclusion to the film either. The family just decides to move away and we're told that they still experienced attacks but were less frequent, just like the ending of the original Amityville film.

The Entity is not for the faint of heart or easily offended. The attacks are brutal and graphic, and pretty damn frightening too. For fans of 80's sleaze and exorcist rip offs.

Gore-none

Nudity-medium

Overall - 6/10

The Rage (2007) 4/10

The Rage is directed by Robert Kurtzman of KNB effects fame and director of Wishmaster. I really like wish master in all its cheesy glory because there was a film unafraid to be gory in a time in the 90s when gore was looked down upon in mainstream films. I didn't have high hopes for The Rage but I thought it would at least be fun. Sadly it isn't.

The Rage is about a mad scientist that creates a "rage" virus that he plans to unleash upon the earth, and then save the earth with an antidote, thus becoming the worlds biggest hero. Of course he becomes infected and the virus gets out infecting the locals of a small forest town. How will a bunch of incredibly annoying and unrealistic college kids save the day?

The professor is played by the Wishmaster himself Andrew Divoff and he's the only reason to watch the film. He's a great horror guy and it's a shame he was never given a fair shake. He could have been the next Robert Englund, but I digress. Once again here's a film that could have been good if the main characters were tolerable. They're not. We've got the token black guy, the jock, the slut, the prep, the nerd. Bland city. Of course they don't get along and they spend most of the film arguing. Sure there's tons of gore in the film, i wouldn't expect anything less but the gore aint that great. See, Kurtzman didn't do the gore. He hired someone else to do it. Its ok, but i was expecting some KNB status stuff. I guess the film was so low budget he couldn't afford himself to do the gore! The plot is a bit slow and by the end i just didn't give a damn about anything that was happening. Perhaps in about 10 years this will be re-released as a hidden gem and age will look fondly on the movie as so many overlooked horror flicks from the 80's are now. I'm sure no one cared about The Burning when it came out but looking back, its actually really good. Who knows.

In the end The Rage is bland and follows a path traveled far to many times. Bummer.

Gore-high

Nudity-mild

Overall - 4/10

Corpse Mania (1981) 7/10

Back in high school I used to love cheesy kung fu flicks. Still do, but its been a while since i've made the time to check any out. My favorite studio was, and still is, Shaw Brothers. During their initial run they made hundreds of great kung fu flicks in all their cheesy glory. Until recently I thought all they did was kung fu, apparently they dabbled in horror too and Corpse Mania is one of em.

After a man's wife dies he decides to keep her in his house and make love to her corpse and stay with her always. He gets caught and flees and has become obsessed with sleeping with the dead. When a string of prostitutes are found murdered and raped Inspector Chang is called on the case to find the necrophiliac.

Corpse Mania is certainly has the most disgusting plot i've ever seen in a shaw film. Gone are the epic fight scenes and crazy weapons. No sorcerers or kung fu masters. Just a gritty thriller that borders on the perverse. We never see our killer befouling the dead, thank god, but we do see him caressing and fondling the dead. The film also sports a few graphic gore scenes as well, and the effects are pretty impressive. The pace of the film is quick enough and the directing is quite good for the grindhouse. Vibrant colors are found throughout, the influence of Italian giallos is clearly seen.

Surprisingly dark and creepy this pre-cat III Chinese horror flick is a wonderful surprise coming from the Shaw Brothers. Check it out if you dig extreme Chinese cinema like Dr. Lamb or to get a peek at the other side of Shaw Brothers Studios.

Gore-medium

Nudity-medium

Overall - 7/10

The Vanguard (2008) 6/10

I'm always on the search for that new indie horror gem. I have to sift through quite a few crapfests, as any reader of this blog can attest to, but every now and then I find something really interesting. The Vanguard is one of these films.

Set in the future evil corporations have created the ultimate soldier called biosyns. The problem is that the biosyns are basically zombies and their plague can be spread. Enter human slave soldiers sent to wipe out every biosyn before they wipe out humanity. One lone non-slave human has survived in the wilderness surrounded by biosyns due to a genetic immunity. A rebel slave soldier finds this sole survivor and realizes his immunity is the hope for mankind. Now he must get this survivor to the authorities before the biosyns get them, and before the slave soldiers find the rebel and kill him for rebelling. Whew, quite a complicated plot huh?

The problem with the Vanguard is that the story is very complicated, but the plot isnt. We have to sit through a huge opening monologue to explain the story, but then the plot is really simple. Guy in woods fights zombies. He's immune to the plague. Now he must get to the authorities to save the human race from infection. That's really it. But instead we have to learn about Biosyns and evil corporations, wars, soldiers, conditioning camps etc. Its way too much back story for a simple film. That said the film does work well. Good action scenes that are competently choreographed, decent acting, and beautiful post color saturation.

The film is short and sweet and works well, especially given the limited budget. They're not reinventing the wheel here but doing something new with an old idea, and doing it well.

Gore-medium

Nudity- none

Overall - 6/10

Terror Train (1980) 4/10

After seeing Halloween and The Fog I figured a horror flick with Jamie Lee Curtis is a safe bet. After Prom Night, I reconsidered. With Terror Train, I'm wondering if she even read the script.

A mean spirited college prank sends a student to the loony bin, but when he gets out, he only has one thing on his mind. Revenge. The pranksters rent a train and have a big graduation party, but the loony killer has snuck on and starts picking them off one by one.

I had high hopes for this one. On many top 20 slasher lists, Terror Train has quite a reputation. A reputation undeserved. Moderately acted and blandly directed there's nothing here for a horror fan to really sink his fangs into. No real gore to speak of, irritating characters, a slow boring pace, and way too much David Copperfield cameos. Yeah, that David Copperfield. Silly magicians that take themselves too seriously do not a horror film make. The film is utterly forgettable in every way. Next.

Gore-very mild

Nudity- none

Overall - 4/10

Mother of Tears (2007) 5/10

I love Dario Argento. I especially love Susperia. He was the first Italian horror director i got into and through his films i gained an appreciation for giallos and have since looked deeper into the genre and had a ton of fun while doing it. Even though the guy hasn't done anything good in about two decades I still had high hopes for the conclusion of the three mothers trilogy started by Susperia. I heard it was terrible but wouldn't believe it. How could the master of Italian horror's film be bad? Very, that's how.

Mother of Tears is about an ancient coffin found in the graveyard of a small church. The coffin is sent to a museum where once opened it unlocks unspeakable evil. Now the archaeologist, played by Dario's daughter Asia Argento, is being hunted by a cult of supernatural worshippers that are after the secrets found within the coffin. At least I think that's what the film is about.

To say the film is a mess is an understatement. Personally I had a hard time following just what the hell was going on. Perhaps repeat viewings would help unlock the film's mysteries much like Susperia, but unlike Susperia, its not worth watching more then once. The film lacks almost all of the wonderful style that Argento is known for. I'm guessing he didn't want to make a film with a dated look and instead made his film like any other director would. The lack of style here is only trumped by the lack of acting ability. Every actor here does a terrible job. There is indeed gore, but after reading all the articles leading up to the films release, i was thinking we were going to have the second coming of Dead Alive. Nope. A few gross out scenes and that's about it. The story itself isn't easily understood nor is it easily enjoyed.

Mother Of Tears is strictly for hardcore Argento fans. If you haven't seen any of his work, start with Susperia, Opera, Deep Red, or The Bird With The Crystal Plumage.

Gore-medium

Nudity-mild

Overall - 5/10

Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat (1990) 7/10

Like many horror fans, I love Bruce Campbell. I cut my horror teeth on Army Of Darkness and eventually discovered Evil Dead 1 & 2 which led me deeper down the rabbits hole. Ever since that time as wee child i knew that Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat existed. I searched high and low but couldn't find it anywhere. It was impossible to find on ebay since it was in its infancy and no local rental places had it in stock. Fast forward to a few months ago, out of nowhere, the film is finally released on dvd. Was it worth the wait? Yes.

Sundown is about a small town in the middle of nowhere that serves as a haven for a group of vampires. Shedding their homicidal behaviour they get their blood through a complicated process that creates artificial blood. Now they can finally live in peace and no longer have to hunt by night and live hand to mouth. The problem? Some of the vampires are bored and want to go back to the old ways so they sabotage the machine and prepare for war.

The film is wonderfully silly and light hearted and a true pleasure to watch. The general atmosphere is akin to aforementioned Army Of Darkness. Now, Bruce Campbell plays a fairly small role here. He plays the great great great grandnephew of Van Helsing. David Carradine plays the head vampire and there's a slew of character actors that round out the rest of the cast. The pacing is great and although the film is on the long side it doesn't feel long. The production value is very high here as well. The film was shot in stunning 35mm film using cranes and aerial shots, jibs, dolly shots, you name its probably represented here. The film was actually shot in muab Utah so the scenery is truly a feast for the eyes as well.

Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat is a breath of fresh air in a time where nihilism, hyper violence and cynicism are the norm in the horror world. Its so refreshing to see a well acted, beautifully directed horror film that's light hearted and fun. This is a must see for Bruce Campbell fans and fans of comedy/horror films in general.

Gore-mild

Nudity- none

Overall - 7/10

13: Game of Death (2006) 8/10

It seems that Dimension Extreme predominately releases foreign horror flicks that are just bland enough to appeal to a broad audience so they can rake it in. 13: Game Of Death is not one of these flicks.

13: Game of Death is a Thai film about a guy who's lost his beautiful girlfriend, his job, and his money. He needs a miracle. What he gets is a new reality game show ala fear factor, but gone horribly wrong. There are 13 tasks he must complete, each level earning him more money but each subsequent level being more and more illegal and inhuman. If he fails or quits he loses all he's won and if he tells anyone he automatically loses. Tasks include eating a plate of feces, physically assaulting a stranger, killing an innocent dog, the list goes on.

What we have here is an intelligent film that exposes our global culture of greed and exploitation for the sake of entertainment. Reality shows like Flavor Of Love and its numerous spinoffs encourage contestants to be greedier, meaner, sluttier, and more conniving then anyone else. Lying, cheating, backstabbing and black mailing are the order of the day. The cesspool of reality television, whether it be on cable or on a network, is getting filthier all the time. It's so refreshing to see a film that examines this trend and exposes it for all its society destroying influence. The film is very well acted and the script is fast paced and engrossing. Each time he's asked to do something terrible for a heap of money the director asks us, where would we draw the line? How far is too far, and I think thats wonderful. The film pushes our buttons, but for a reason. It's not just another Hostel clone gross out fest. There's real thought behind it. The film is masterfully directed with great production value and believable sets. Step aside pang brothers, theres a new horror director in Thailand that puts you guys to shame.

Horror films can be insightful, poignant and intelligent. They don't all have to be remake crapfests. Its films like 13: Game of Death that make me truly love the horror genre head and shoulders above any other film genre. Do yourself a favor, rent this flick, if you've got the stomach for it that is.

Gore - medium

Nudity-none

Overall - 8/10

Cannibal Terror (1981) 5/10

Cannibal Terror was one of the rarest of all the Video Nasties banned in the 80s in England. I've watched somewhere in the neighborhood of about 65 of the original 74 nasties and whenever another one comes out I have to see it. I'm not so sure this one was so essential.

Cannibal Terror, a Spanish film, is about a group of criminals that decide to kidnap a little girl and hide out at one of their rich friend's houses and wait for the ransom. When the guys decide to rape their friend's wife he unleashes a cannibal tribe on them just as the parents of the little girl arrive to take her back by force. I didn't know there were cannibal tribes in Spain but go figure, you learn something new every day.

So the film is pretty much garbage. Terrible acting, washed out colors, despite attempts to restore the film to some degree by the publishing company, unconvincing makeup and very little gore. Hey, sounds like Jess Franco's Cannibal! There are a few hilariously bad lines in the film and what few scenes of gore there are, are actually pretty graphic. Lots of butcher shop offal covered in red food die stuck into a pretty convincing human carcass. The pacing is terribly slow and the ending drags on for what seems like hours. Obviously the director had to make a 90 minute movie regardless of how short the script was.

Nothing really amazing here, typical early 80's eurosleaze. Its worth checking out for cannibal film aficionados and Video Nasty completists, otherwise check out cannibal ferox and zombie holocaust for better cannibal gut munching action.

Gore-medium

Nudity-some

Overall - 5/10

Just Before Dawn (1981) 5/10

Just Before Dawn is yet another film in the slasher in the woods sub genre that dominated 1980-1982. Given its notoriously grisly reputation, Just Before Dawn didn't meet my expectations.

Here we go again, by the numbers kids go to camp out in the woods to have sex and do drugs but are stalked and killed by a freak/monster/killer/psycho family. Nothing new here.

Even though the film features academy award winning actor George Kennedy most of the acting here sucks, including his. My guess is '81 was a lean year for the Cool Hand Luke alumni. All the gore here is off camera and since the acting blows, i didn't really care about the characters untimely demises. The killers themselves were a fairly creepy blend of hillbilly redneck and mentally retarded misfit but nothing really out of the ordinary. The directing is bland and the pacing is about par for the style and time it was made in. Nothing new, nothing terrible.

Just Before Dawn is nothing of real merit, just another slasher in the woods flick. If thats your thing, check it out, but make sure you see The Burning first. Thats a much better addition to the sub-genre.

Gore-mild

Nudity-mild

Overall - 5/10

The Fall (2007) 9/10

The Fall was directed by Tarsim, the same guy that brought us the almost-great film The Cell. With strong visuals and a crappy script, The Cell could have been amazing, unfortunately it just became a curiosity. The Fall firmly plants Tarsim as a director to watch with a script deserving of his unique style.

The Fall is set in the early 1900's in a hospital. A wounded stuntman sits and wishes for death until a little girl with a broken arm finds him and asks for a story. Figuring he can gain her confidence and get her to bring him enough pills to finally do himself in, he begins to tell an amazing allegorical story of epic proportions.

The Fall, as with The Cell, is beautifully directed. Amazing sets, vibrant colors, extravagant costumes, mystery, action, romance, fantasy creatures, this one's got it all. A kaleidoscopic journey through the man's painful life as told through a fable. Tarsim masterfully draws us into the epic while also pulling us back to reality to draw us closer to the characters, making both plots so much richer and meaningful. Truly an amazing piece of cinema that slipped below most people's radar last year, much like The Fountain did the year before. Powerfully written, masterfully directed, and well acted this is a film all movie aficionados should check out.

Overall - 9/10

Curdled (1996) 6/10

Once again i've rented a flick from the rue-morgue horror 101 list of unknown gems. Curdled is not a film i would consider a gem, but toy jewelry.

Produced by none other then Quinton Tarintino at the height of his post-pulp fiction popularity, Curdled is about a woman obsessed with death and murder. She gets a job cleaning up crime scenes and discovers that one of her clients was murdered by a notorious serial killer. She becomes obsessed with the house and tries to figure out how and why the serial killer did his victims in, only she's not alone in the house. The killer is still there, watching her every move!

The film plays as a black comedy and all the murders are grotesquely funny. The director goes out of his way to make the lead character likeable, understandable and harmless. We don't see her as a freak or a pervert, just curious. The characters are watchable and the acting is pretty good as well as the direction. All the gore and murder is off camera which is disappointing given the subject matter. Nothing in any department that truly stands out though. The problem with the film is that the pacing is terrible. Our lead actress only meets the killer in the last 15 minutes of the film and its too little too late. The film feels like it has a short first act, an unbearably long second act, and a much too short third act. That being said it was amusing but not worth going too far out of your way to check it out.

Gore - none

Nudity - none

Overall - 6/10