Exte: Hair Extensions (2006) 6/10

So, I've been pretty burnt on Japanese films for quite a while now. I watched way too many of em and simply lost my appetite for them. A few months ago I watched Sion Sono's Suicide Club and really liked it. When I heard he had another film coming out, a film about killer hair extensions, I knew I had to check it out.

Exte: Hair Extensions is about an unknown cadaver thats found and transported to the local morgue. The mortician cuts off all her hair to sell as hair extensions and finds that her hair still grows even after death! In fact, the more he cuts the more it grows! Enter a hair salon that the man sells his wears to and the hair begins to have a mind of its own, killing its wearers. How can they stop the blood thirsty hair before it grows more and takes over the world?

Exte: Hair Extensions has the type of bizarre plot that we've come to expect from Japan. I was sold on the idea immediately. The film is very beautifully directed with warm colors and nice camera set ups. The problem is there isn't really that much hair killing action. Most of the film is dedicated to a subplot involving one of the hair dressers, her sister and her sister's daughter. See the daughter is getting abused and neglected so the hair dresser takes the girl in and teaches her how to enjoy life. The crazy hair extensions take a back seat to the melodrama here and really, crazy hair killing is what i signed up for. Not a mushy movie about a dysfunctional family. When the hair killing happens its very well done with a mix of cgi and practical effects that seem pretty damn realistic. There just isn't enough of it for me.

In the end Exte: Hair Extensions has a very unique plot but in its execution almost comes off more as a melodrama between family members then a blood thirsty hair killing b-movie. Its a pretty good film, but not great, because of it.

Gore-mild

Nudity-none

Overall - 6/10

Fingerprints (2006) 4/10

When one of the selling points for Fingerprints was that it starred a girl from MTV's Laguna Beach, I should have known this would blow. Should have...but didn't.

Fingerprints is a ghost story of sorts about a high school girl Melinda who moves to a small town. The local legend says that a group of kids were riding in a school bus when the bus got stuck on railroad tracks just as a train came and of course killed them all. To this day if you let your car get stuck on the tracks the ghosts of the little kids will push you car into safety. When Melinda's friends start dying under strange circumstances she sets out to find the truth about the legend and about the murders.

Let me begin by saying I am obviously not the person this film was marketed to. It has a cast of cute teenage kids straight from day time television trying to dig into a myth Nancy Drew style. The film oozes its intent to draw in teen girls, and teen girl I am not. From the soft lighting to the ridiculously unfair portrayal of Melinda's parents, to the teen relationship melodrama, to the medium dose of gore. Wait....what? Gore? In a teeny bob movie? Yup. Totally out of place and unnecessary there is indeed a handful of pretty gory sequences. Maybe its to draw in a few teeny boyfriends to sit down and watch the film as well? I don't know. All I can say is that the gore feels totally out of place here, as out of place as I felt watching it. Beyond the fact that the film obviously wasn't made for my demographic the script here is terrible. Sure its got bad dialogue and a beyond mind numbingly terrible ending but the actions of the characters as well as the whole structure of the film are terrible. Hell it's even revealed that there was no train accident in the town. So why do the kids push the cars over the tracks? There's plenty of giant holes like this in the film and by the end of the picture it's almost completely unraveled. Overall the film feels pretty bland as well. The lighting is boring as are the shot setups.

Fingerprints is a bland film obviously made for the teen market but with poorly done and questionably placed gore that seems to be the odd piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit. The script is very poorly written and the acting is bad. Next.

Gore-mild/medium

Nudity-mild

Overall - 4/10

Inglorious Bastards (1978) 8/10

I randomly stumbled upon Inglorious Bastards while trawling amazon.com for new releases. I'm glad I did, because Inglorious Bastards is damn good.

Set during WWII a group of military prisoners whose crimes range from deserting the front lines to murder, are being transported from a base to the brig. During their transport the convoy is attacked by a German war plane killing most of the prisoners and guards. Now the prisoners are out on their own. Their own countrymen hate them and want them dead, and the enemy is all around them. Now they must fight their way to the Switzerland border to escape the war all the while finding themselves behind enemy lines and from one bad situation to another.

Inglorious Bastards takes a familiar theme found in more notable films like the Dirty Dozen and Kelly's Hero's and stands tall among them. Filled with great action, a fun script, and memorable characters, I couldn't help but have a blast watching it. An Italian film with American actors it fits the spaghetti western mold perfectly. Staring Bo Stevenson and Fred Williamson that acting is pretty damn good too. Who doesn't love a rag tag group of guys smashing Nazis? Its cinema gold. It's been a while since I've watched any war films but the strength of this film has renewed my interested in the genre, so look for more war reviews in the future. I highly recommend this fun, interesting, manly movie!

Gore-mild

Nudity-mild

Overall - 8/10

Us Sinners (2008) 7/10

There's nothing like a microbudget horror film done right. Its a rare breed, but it does exist. Us Sinners is one of those films.

Us Sinners is about a socially inept man named Tim. Tim works for an office cleaning company by day, and by night trawls the streets looking for prostitutes to lure and slaughter. Living with an overbearing mother and mocked at work Tim is the perfect example of how serial killers are born.

Taking its ques from such films as Maniac and Henry, Us Sinners is certainly a disturbing ride. Filled with intense scenes acted surprisingly well considering the lack of budget the film is at times difficult to watch. The actor playing Tim did a great job of creating a simultaneously feeble and nervous character as well as dangerous and frightening. Remember that weird kid in school that always got picked on that you thought might be building bombs in his basement? That's Tim. Competently directed and fairly well paced, I never found myself bored and I cared about the characters throughout. Tim starts out as a killer but continues to spiral out of control as the film progresses, making an interesting if disturbing ride. There does seem to be a strange obsession with feces throughout the film with a few scenes involving Tim's mother forcing him to go drop one. I guess its just another level of control that the mother exerts over her son. The logline of the film, "The carnal climax is so disturbing it will leave you breathless," is indeed true. I won't give it away here but it pushes the film up and out of the generic serial killer realm.

Working with a very limited budget the director George Snow is able to create an interesting and disturbing film that certainly shocked this viewer with a rather explosive ending. If you get the chance, check it out. Mr. Snow may be onto something here and may be a new talent to keep your eye on.

Gore-medium

Nudity-mild

Overall - 7/10

Home Sick (2003) 4/10

To me, Home Sick came out of nowhere. I was unfamiliar with the producer and director but apparently these guys have established themselves with quite a rep. The director has done several features including Pop Skull and the producer worked with Tobe Hooper on Mortuary. Home Sick is a long way from Mortuary and its easy to see why it took years to get this out on dvd finally.

Home Sick is about a group of 20 somethings hanging out at a party of sorts when a strange man toting a briefcase full of razor blades enters, played by bill mosely, and asks them all who they hate. When one party goer says everyone the blood soon starts to flow as all the friends start to drop one by one. Who's the killer and why?

Home Sick is very roughly put together. Its the first feature after the film makers graduated from school and it shows. The script is at times hard to follow and seems to be at the rough draft stage. The film limps along from one contrived scene to the next with no reality or believability. Horror films are supposed to be unreal but when the motivations and actions of the characters make no sense it's really hard to care. The acting is terrible, feeling more like a bunch of friends making a monster movie rather then professional actors. The directing is rough with boring setups and poorly lit scenes. The gore is amateurish at best. The lighting could have hid this but instead the director of photography decided to put a spot light on most of em making the gore look that much cheesier.

In short, there's nothing here worth watching. Sure its got Bill Mosely, for about 4 minutes, and Tom Towles, for about 7 minutes but that's about it. Honestly they only make the rest of the actors look that much worse. I suppose its a good effort for the first film out, but there's really no excuse for a bad script. Scriptwriting costs nothing but time.

Gore-medium

Nudity-mild

Overall - 4/10

Amityville II: The Possesion (1982) 6/10

Continuing with my pursuit of the Amityvlle films we have the second installment, Amityville 2.

Amityvlle II takes place after the first film with yet another family moving in only to discover the house is filled with an evil atmosphere that takes over the family. The husband immediately becomes abusive and the son begins to eyeball his sister. The mother becomes hysterical and the kids experience poltergeist activity. How will this family survive?

In a word, they don't. See this films director, writer, and cinematographer are all Italian. It being essentially an Italian film made in the early 80's of course its bound to push boundaries. The overt and prevalent spousal abuse, the incest, and the brutal killing of the entire family all point to the Italian influence. Of course it would be useless to tread the same ground as the original so the film makers decided to up the ante. The houses influence begins as soon as the family steps inside and leaves no time for any suspense or tension to be built. Bang! The wife gets slapped by the husband and so it begins. The exorcist movies were doing well at this time so half the film mimics an extreme version of the first amityville and the last half mimics the exorcist films. See the son is possessed by the house and speaks with a different voice and acts to destroy the family. Sounds familiar right? The films acting is pretty good, though no where near the original film. The direction is competent but lacks the tension filled pacing of the original.

At the end of the day Amityville II: The Possession is a film that is poorly paced and suffers from a lack of suspense because of it. It tries to make up for it with being more extreme and adding in a bit of the Exorcist for good measure but ends up feeling rushed and uneven. A fun film but lacks the seriousness and grace of its predecessor.

Gore-mild

Nudity-mild

Overall - 6/10

Hanzo The Razor: Sword Of Justice (1972) 7/10

There was a time in my life when Samurai were totally interesting and very cool. I've grown older, learned more about the real samurai way and frankly the romanticized films lost their luster. That being said I do check out samurai films every now and then, especially when there's a new or different twist on a familiar theme. Hanzo The Razor is a very different samurai that not only uses his blade, but his tool and I'm not talking about a wrench.

Hanzo The Razor is about a rouge lawman that refuses to succumb to the corruption that prevails in his colleagues. When he finds out his dirty boss and a criminal share the same mistress he sets out to discover what the connection is and expose his boss for the unscrupulous cad he truly is.

Beautifully directed and choreographed much in the same vein as the Lone Wolf and Cub aka shogun assassin series Hanzo the Razor delivers visually. The film is from 1972 but looks like it could have been made yesterday. The badass lawman is a familiar character and here is played very satisfyingly with Hanzo bending the rules and using a very firm hand to get the information he seeks. He also uses a very firm...penis. Yes, that's right. When interrogating beautiful female suspects he uses his phallus to get the information. Using a variety of techniques it all boils down to Hanzo being a sex machine that the women can't help but spill their guts to. The film treads on thin ground here since none of the women want to have sex with Hanzo. Yup, he pretty much rapes them, and halfway through they decide that they can't get enough and will give any information Hanzo wants as long as he doesn't stop. So apparently Japanese women in Feudal Japan love to be raped but a man who's hung. It's played totally ridiculously and the whole film has an unrealistic feel to it. This isn't the gritty realism found in the yakuza papers films. Its fantasy, albeit ethically shaky fantasy.

Hanzo The Razor: Sword of Justice is the first film of a trilogy and I would gladly check out the other two. The film is fun and over the top with a twisty script and a hard boiled attitude. Take out the penis interrogation and you still have a satisfying entertaining film, it just pushes the film into a more unique realm that few films reach.

Gore- mild/medium

Nudity - medium

Overall - 7/10

Amityville (1979) 8/10

Amityville. I remember as a kid going to the local mom & pop video rental store, and seeing the countless Amityville films. Amityvlle 3-d, Amityvlle Doll House, Amityville Its About Time, and all the others. I've seen the original in bits and pieces on t.v. of course, but I had never actually sat down and watched the whole film. Given the slew of sequels, and the recent remake, I decided to finally dip into the Amytiville franchise, starting with the original.

Amityville for those who have been living in a cave under a rock, is about a spooky house of notorious history. In real life a family moved into the home and the owner's son killed the whole family one night with a rifle. So, the film takes place after this true-life event. Once again a family moves in but all is not well. The father, played by James Brolin starts to become paranoid, agitated and irritable, and possibly homicidal. The mother realizes something evil is in the home and invites a priest to come cleanse it, but the house won't let the priest do his cleansing, striking him blind. How can the family survive in a house soaked with evil?

Amityville is filled with strong acting and strong directing. James Brolin especially does a superb job at playing a slowly deteriorating man that was once strong and good. We feel for him as he becomes increasingly frightening, and we feel for the family as well. It's very hard to make a dangerous character likeable and still have him be frightening and realistic. The priests all do a wonderful job here as well. The film oozes a creepy atmosphere that builds effectively throughout the film. The only problem here is that the director never pulls the trigger. We sit and watch the tension build and then suddenly the family decides to leave the house before any serious danger is dealt.

So, the ending is a bit anti-climactic but the rest of the film is so carefully crafted and produced that it makes up for it's shortcoming. Here is a film that deserves to have a slew of sequels. Nearly 30 years old and it still instills a feeling of fear and suspense rarely seen today.

Gore-mild

Nudity-none

Overall - 8/10

Fangoria Blood Drive II (2005) 6/10

I used to have a subscription to Fangoria until they decided to give me terrible customer service, that being said, I still dig the magazine. Having seen the first blood drive collection, I decided to see if this was as mediocre or perhaps an improvement. Mediocre is still the work to describe this series.

The Blood Drive series is a collection of horror shorts from around the country displaying a variety of ideas, executions, and sadly a variety of quality.

Once again, like the first blood drive, the collection is a mixed bag. The first and last shorts are actually quite good, about an avenging ghost and the job from hell respectively but also included are a few totally amateurish shorts that look like they had very little development even less talent. There's nothing wrong with having a low budget, especially for a short. But if I'm half way through a short I shouldn't be bored already. A director should be able to keep my attention for at least 10 minutes.

Check it out if you love short horror, but this one's a rental hands down.

Gore- varies

Nudity - none

Overall - 6/10